Yesterday. Yesteryear. What I wouldn’t give for one more yesterday again!
Yesterday was only a day ago, but reflecting over my life there have been many yesterdays. It only seems like yesterday we brought our DS…DD#2….DD#1 home from the hospital. The truth of the matter is this has been nearly 8,760 yesterdays ago. During all of these yesterdays, I’ve been privy to see many firsts – words, steps, reading, writing, fall-outs, break-ups,..all indeed rich blessings God has granted me to be apart of as a SAHM.
My brain feels trapped in a freeze…a deep freeze today, as well as yesterday. Yesterday and today are alike in many ways, very little changes. Is this good or is it bad? Definitely predictable and unless nothing dramatic happens then I can go through my days, and even looking back to yesterday, in comfortable.
There have been yesterdays that have not always been comfortable. In fact, many yesteryears ago a dark gloom of unemployment shrouded us in the late 90s for 3-years. That was undoubtedly one of the most difficult periods in our lives. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. We survived and moved on to happier days.
A mixture of happy and sad times fill my senses like a sweet or pungent fragrance from yesteryears. Sometimes a little of both entwined in my memories. Moments like this are usually spurred on when I think about my brother, JC. He’ll always be my little brother because most of my memories are of him when we were young.
JC was a ornery little guy. I gasp and laugh when I think about the time he peed in an empty Mountain Dew bottle. He offered the bottle to a younger, trusting kid in our neighborhood and you can figure out what happened next. Do you remember the line from Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd says this to a motorcycle cop, “Tic-Tac, sir?” Do you get the picture now?
I am four years older than JC, but I remember when my folks brought him home. I was practically sitting in my grandparents living room window, watching for my parents to enter the long road leading to their house. The second I spotted them, I bolted down the stairs and out the door like rocket. I can still hear my grandma hollering, “Cathy Lynn! Cathy Lynn, you get back here!” You know how it is, you can’t stop a determined kid no matter how much you scream sometimes.
I also remember the day JC died. Only the day before…that would have been a yesterday I had no cares in the world, feeling light and happy. In the past, God always nudged my heart to pray for my brother when in trouble, but not this time. It was just his time to be called home. The shock literally numbed me from my head to my toes. My mind felt like a waste land – empty and my body felt like Jello – barely able to support itself.
There are many happy yesterdays. The happiest moments other than our marriage over 12,000 yesterdays ago is the blessings of our children.
Recollections of yesteryears spent on day trips to the mountains – photographing, picnicking, walking, and laughing together or vac
ations spent at Myrtle Beach – tramping in the waves, building sand castles, and sharing ice cream cones or our long road trip to New England – lighthouse spotting, wave watching, browsing quaint shops, eating new foods, having a blast or some of the simpler things in life – playing board games, watching movies, making cookies, shooting baskets, roasting marshmallows, ….all are joyous events forever etched in my mind.
Yesterday quickly turns into yesteryear. What I wouldn’t give for one more yesterday again!
There are two days in every week that we should not worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed, forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can we erase a single word we’ve said – yesterday is gone!
The other day we shouldn’t worry about is tomorrow, with its impossible adversaries, its burden, its hopeful promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is beyond our control.
Tomorrow’s sun will rise either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds – but it will rise. And until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day – today. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad – it is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live one day at a time!
My questions this Thursday are:
1. If asked, how would you tell someone to hold onto yesterday without sorrow or regret?
2. What is the most memorable yesterday, good or bad, in recent months or years that comes to mind?
Yesterday became today and tomorrow, I’ll be thinking back on today. Hopefully, with no what ifs lingering over my head. Whatever mindset I’m in, you won’t find me in Blogville because I’ll be doing other things. Things with my family so I won’t have regrets for not sharing time with them in the present. Before I leave you, please be sure to come back to board the Love Train for Monday’s Music Moves Me. Our theme will be a freebie pick. Whoo-hoo! Have a marvelous, glorious weekend!
7 Comments
Jenny
Oh Cathy,
I feel this post right to the center of my heart.
Probably doesn’t help that I’m playing Patty Griffin as I’m reading today.
Having the kids grow up is tough…it’s hard to find the place you fit…everything changes.
Having the losses start as we grow up, too, is hard to cope with sometimes.
I wish I had an answer for you…looking back is so bittersweet.
Thanks for sharing this.
A+
beckyp
what an great post Sorry about your brother I could not imagine losing one of my siblings. Here’s to a great day
JamericanSpice
This is a very moving post Cathy. *HUG*
1. I would tell them that if they give all of it to God, it will make sense eventually and takes the burden of regret (past) or fear (future) away from being a constant burden.
That’s waht I try to do.
2. The most memorable yesterday, was literally yesterday!
I was playing scrabble with my daughter and she said: Look mom I made the word sin.
So I asked her if she knew what a sin was.
She said, Yes mama.
It’s like in that show Bernie Mac when the mother made all those yummy apples and she told the kids not to touch them and baby girl went and took one when she wasn’t looking and so she did a sin because it was wrong 🙂
Now of all the things to quote and she quoted Bernie mac lol
Happy Friday Cathy!
Pondside
This was a post worth reading – for the personal story and for the lesson, so well-written.
1. I’d tell someone that the yesterdays, good or bad made her strong, resilient and able to accept joy and sorrow.
2. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. My birthday, celebrated with three generations – lots of stories, laughter and a beautiful song sung by my mother.
Hilary
Cathy – I am so sorry about your brother… but what a great post… It really shares so much… and I love the pictures!
Jim
Cathy, this is a nice post but sad about your brother part. I haven’t lost a loved one through death with the exception of my parents and parents-in-laws. Divorce was very hard on me though.
1. My advice is that we can’t change yesterday one bit. We just have to live with it. I would not and could not say to hold it without the sorrows or regrets. They are a part of it and help to further our character in how we deal with those bad times.
Jim’s Little Blog; Thursday Two Questions (posts)
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Self Sagacity
that was a great post on reflection. Are those pictures of you and your family?
To have a yesterday without regret is to think before reacting to something- if possible. Most times it is. I can’t say, live life to the fullest and freewill because in that there is no control, and sometimes being out of control can hurt someone. So for me, it’s important if I can’t help, not to hurt.
1- The best times of yesterday is seeing my children converse with each other and me at the table. Those are the most satisfying moments.
2- The last time my family gathered in our home, all 32 people. We didn’t have every single person in my family there, but it was still VERY special.