Que Sera, Sera
Good-morning, kittens & dawgs! DH and I enjoy streaming movies on Netflix. The past couple of weeks we’ve watched a few old flicks staring Doris Day: That Touch of Mink with Cary Grant and Do Not Disturb with Rod Taylor. These features were wonderful, especially the first of the two. It’s refreshing to see how women embraced their womanhood and enjoyed being treated differently than men.
I’m going to be brave in saying, I believe women today would like to receive the same considerations from the opposite sex, as the women did from yesteryear. What do you think? Unfortunately, our society is raising girls to trade in their feminine virtues in favor of acting like the guys and boys taught by their peers to not publicly recognize women as the gentler sex.
Gone are the days when a man opened the door for a lady he didn’t know, standing when a woman entered a room, paying a compliment on how she looks, or simply watching how he spoke around her. I don’t blame a man for slinking away from his duties with all the persecution he can get.
It’s all rather silly to me and personally I miss the attention. However, on the rare occasions a stranger displays his chivalry is flattering and I gratefully acknowledge my appreciation for the gesture.
Getting back to the movies reminded me of a day of innocence when girls liked being girls and boys liked being boys. When I was a just a little girl…hmm, sounds like a song, I routinely watched Doris Day’s TV show in the late 60s and early 70s. It was wholesome, entertaining fun.
My bestie girlfriend and I would sing Day’s US #2 hit song which became not only the theme song for her TV show, but her signature song.
This song has a dreamy quality about it, that makes me feel kinda airy and gay (not sexually, just happy).
- When you were a little girl or boy, what did you want to be? When I was just a little girl I don’t remember asking my mother what will I be? I kinda knew all alone what I wanted for my life; to be a mother and wife.
- Some would say these changes are due to the times we live and others would say it is people who have changed not time. What do you think? IMO, people change over time for one of two reasons: personal conviction which helps one to become a better person or peer persuasion which ultimately causes one to be less of a good person. People tend to side with what feels good, instead of what is right. I was taught bad habits, ideas, … always rub off on good people. It’s hardly ever the other way around. People either choice to wear blinders or they don’t care to know the difference. Either way, these folks have lost judgement to make good decisions for themselves.
I’m linking up with the amazing blog post prompter, Ink Interrupted and the Queen of Random, Stacy Uncorked. You’ll want to check these awesome gals out. I invite you to come back to my place this evening at 8pm to join my Wordless (not-so-wordless) Wednesday linky party.
9 Comments
Rorybore
I don’t think I have ever seen a Doris Day movie..?? But I do very much remember that song. I can remember singing it at my babysitters and dancing! ha – what a neat memory. I have mixed feelings about the whole women not acting like men thing: because of course I was raised in the era that preached to us young girls: anything a man can do, you can do better!! And I feel that set up this competitive spirit within us, that is not exactly conducive to finding a partner and having a happy life. If you are both always trying to outdo one another. But I also loved how strong I felt when I could accomplish something. It’s a very mixed message I think. Because at the end of the day, even though I would love to be able to be just as good and strong a runner as my husband – so that I could keep up with him. Or have his friends listen as intently to my opinions, as they do his. I would actually rather like a door being held for me. Or for one of them to show respect and courtesy when I enter a room. But I am very aware that is going against “my generation” too.
Liz A.
People still open doors for me.
I loved the Doris Day/Rock Hudson movies.
Cathy Kennedy
Liz, that’s wonderful! I’m not out by myself all that much these days, but in the past I noticed a decline in how men behave. 🙁
Debbie D.
I loved Doris Day and watched all the movies as well as the TV show. “Whatever will be, will be” is kind of my own motto as well. Reminders of a simpler era. 🙂 That said, I’m one of those “old school” feminist types, having clawed my way up the corporate ladder in the 70s and 80s. “We’ve come a long way baby!” 😉 Men standing up for me or rushing to open the door when my hands are free (different story if the hands are full) makes me feel silly and uncomfortable. “Gentler” is often equated with “weaker” and that’s not such a great thing, IMO.
Cathy Kennedy
Debbie, I believe it’s a misconception by folks in general that if a woman is gentle, she is weak. A confident woman knows how to get across her point without compromising herself in any fashion. The man or woman perceiving said gentle woman is weak doesn’t understand or know her very well. I agree anyone who thinks gentle is weak isn’t good. Like I said that person just doesn’t understand. The corporate world is competitive and hard. Men and women are different. One isn’t any better than the other. Both genders equally smart, but each sex excels differently. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, my friend.
Debbie D.
No question, to equate gentle with weak is a misconception, but it happens all the time and yes, men and women certainly are different in many ways. Hopefully, times have changed for the better, but it used to be, for a woman to get ahead in the corporate world she had to work twice as hard to get half as far, (and for less money) plus put up with all kinds of sexist bullshit and harassment. Also, she had to be tough as nails. “Never let them see you sweat”, and all that. (In other words – act like a man.) I’ve left that world behind and reverted to my “hippie dippy” self again, but the toughness and independence remain. We obviously come from different worlds, Cathy, but I’m glad we can be friends regardless. 🙂
Cathy Kennedy
Debbie, it’s okay for friends to have different opinions and to talk about them. Respect is the key that keeps friendships going after friends find they don’t agree about something. Plus, if you haven’t figured out, I’m really easy going and it takes A LOT to get my feathers ruffled and even if then chances are good I’m going to keep my cool. lol However, I know everything you say is true. I don’t think I was ever affected much by the difference, but I know there are women like yourself who had to prove themselves ten times over to get an ounce of recognition. That’s sad, too. Anywho, I think things are changing, but I don’t know if it’s for the good or not. It would be wonderful if there came a day when all mankind treated each other with respect and equality where the best person gets the job regardless of sex or color one’s skin.
Debbie D.
Definitely, mutual respect and tolerance towards differing viewpoints is key to maintaining friendships and I did sense that about you. 🙂 Hopefully the day will come when all humanity achieves true equality.
Rorybore
Absolutely agree that gentle does not equal weak! To me, it refers more to “spirit.” That we are softer in the sense that we have this innate ability to comfort and nuture those around us. Our strength lies in our ability to move through difficult situations with a measure of grace and dignity; which doesn’t mean that we don’t stand up for ourselves or others. We do! I think we are just more likely to deal with things from the heart – meaning empathy and compassion. Whereas a man might feel like he has to fix or solve the situation, and yes; may just move mountains to do that. Neither wrong. Just different.