Jokes That Quack You Up
A man and his pet duck walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.”
So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my duck.”
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the duck falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.”
To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a duck.”
Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow?
A: Quackers and milk.
Q: How do you get down off a horse?
A: You don’t get down off a horse, you get down off a duck.
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a duck in the front seat.
“What are you doing with that duck?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.”
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the duck again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
“I thought you were going to take that duck to the zoo!”
The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!
Q: Why was the duck put in the basketball game?
A: To make a fowl shot.
Q: Why was the teacher mad at the duck?
A: Because she wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.
Miss Jenny, I hope you aren’t angry with me for being a little wise-quacker this morning. However, my intended Q essay didn’t quite quake up and just like that, quickiddy-zip my Q-spiration formed!
Perhaps these jokes are a bit old school and I realize this lame attempt to quack up the class is futile at best and I hope you don’t quack down on the class at their expense when it is I who deserves a good quacking on my noggin’. However, if by chance you quacked a smile, I hope you dismiss this quirky post without too much qualm then, the rest of the day I promise to be quiet with no more quackery behavior. Before I quit, I can’t resist sharing this (song begins at the 30 second mark).
Did that quack you up? This song became something of a phenomena in 1976 and even now I can’t help, but grin from ear to ear when I hear this funky disco beat which makes me want to get to my feet every time to do the Disco Duck!
1. The 70s was an interesting decade, you either loved it or hated it. Which is it for you?
2. What’s the one thing you remember most about the 70s?
Visit Miss Jenny and the rest of the Alphabe-Thursday classroom for more homework assignments of the letter “Q” and while you’re hopping around, be sure to play along with Miss Amanda in her latest edition of Thursday Two Questions.
19 Comments
Jenny
Ah. The 70’s. I fondly remember my micro-mini hot pants and huge bell bottoms!
And how skinny I was!
I love all your quack jokes! I am adding some of them to my joke repertoire! If I can remember them, darn it!
This was quite a cute post, Miss Cathy.
And it totally quacked me up!
A++++
anitamombanita
Or, as one musician said….if you remember the 70s you probably weren’t there….or maybe that was the 60s…or maybe both! 🙂
JamericanSpice
This is a very funny fun post!
But Cathy Darling. I was not yet born in the 70s…and my mother was still very young 🙂
I do know that I love some of the music from then…most of the music and I liked that family seemed more important then.
Happy weekend.
Self Sagacity
Hi Cathy, I don’t remember that quacky disco song. I was still very young in the 70’s.
In the mid 70’s that was when North VietNam took over South VietNam, and our family fled to Thailand. It was also a time when my family was trying to settle down in the US.
Those are funny jokes, you made me laugh so hard tonight. 😉
⊱↫PreciousKD↬⊰
I was a young teenager in the 70, and remember the disco, but way too busy with school and work to recall anything else.
Fun post! It brought me laugh and quacky smile 🙂
Jim
Yes, Cathy, you did Quack me up. I am still laughing. LOL!!! I loved your duck and Quack jokes. My favorite is the duck who was taken to the zoo. I love it, but an never remember it to tell. Perhaps now that I have written it’s name my visual memory will help me to remember it from scratch.
My best years were the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. It seems to me that people, especially in the 2000’s have gotten really mean. TV ‘news’, politicians and leaders, and just opiniated people in general all seem very mean spirited.
In the 70’s I was single again apart from a marriage gone, disolved into thin air. I entered my second youth and bought a motorcycle and let my hair grow out. Of course there was a serious side as I worked 50 to 60 hours a week at NASA and had gone back to college. I loved my three years being single. But for me, I am the married type so it was good that there were only the three years.
..
Oh yes, my “Q” word is Quack also.
..
SquirrelQueen
Aw, the 70’s, I remember them well. Started my first job and spend the rest of my time backpacking and hiking. Unfortunately I still can’t stand the colors and music from that era. And those leisure suits were horrible. My choice in music was Southern rock like the Allman Brothers and Lynyrd Skynyrd so disco wasn’t my thing.
What do I remember most? The Vietnam War ended.
storybeader
lots of people of giving me a bunch of jokes and quotes! Cute little duckie! {:-D
w
hahaahah. also. it took me a mintue to get that bartender/lyin’ joke. *hangs head in shame*
Lucy
Ah, this made me quack up LOL
Judie
Cathy, we all need a little levity! Your post made me laugh AND groan! Good one!!!!
Sue
heehee
I loved the 70s because I was married in 1972 and had two of my kids in 1975 and 1978.
=)
Rocky Mountain Woman
I can hardly remember the 70’s! I got married and had two children in the 70’s and it is all kind of a blur….
VandyJ
I was a kid in the 70s. I mostly remember Malibu Barbie and Stretch Armstrong.
Janice's footsteps
this did “quack” me up thanks…I remember alot of the good music that was so fun to roller skate to, 70’s meant roller skating rink fun!!
RoryBore
My kids loved that!! Zoo Zoo kept making me scroll back up the page to see Donald Duck. I’m not quite sure they “got” all jokes – but I am LOL over here.
As for the 70’s, I was born in 1971 so I don’t remember too much music aside from my grandpa playing the fiddle and having bit kitchen parties at the farm. (it’s a Celtic thing.)
Sarah~Magnolia Surprise
Your jokes really quacked me up!! And I needed some quackin’ up this morning!!
Jamie
Great “Q” post, and your jokes did make me laugh. Unfortunately, I don’t remember much of the 70’s being born in ’74, but I do remember “Disco Duck”!
Mamaw Bee
I loved the 70’s. It was a busy decade for me. Started dating. Graduated high school, became an aunt for the first time, got married, had twins, got divorced and got my first office job. All in all a great decade. The one thing I remember most is the birth of my twins.