You’ve Got Mail edition – Chocolate Wisdom

I came up with the idea for this new post series while sorting through old files stored on my external hard drives of old emails I collected.  I neither wanted to keep or delete to keep them.  I remembered how much fun it was to get daily nuggets of humor or inspiration from friends, so I decided to recirculate the email content and if you have an email subscription to CAAC then it’ll kind of be like sharing these things with you like in those bygone-days.

Today’s contribution came from a Lisa Larrabee, a long ago penpal from Massachusetts in December 2001.

Chocolate is a Vegetable.

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is a dairy product. So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.

The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they
will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (We’re testing this with other snack foods as well.)

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can’t let that happen, can you?

MEDICAL NEWS FLASH “Stressed” spelled backward is “desserts.”

Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds. If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. That’s why I had to pass this on — I didn’t want to risk it.

No comments, needed. Simply click “like” to let me know you stopped by. Up next is Monday’s Music Moves Me on Sundays.  Have a blessed day!