There is nothing like opening your cyber mail to get your daily dose of laughs. Let’s kick off this Friday with.
Today’s giggles are past and present laughs pulled from my in-box. I hope these jump-start your weekend relaxation.
First up, a friend of ours sent this email. Now, supposedly the photo & newspaper article go together. I cannot vouch for its authenticity. Take it for what it is, a hoax or the truth. In any case, it’s funny!
Who do you say had the last laugh?
A Moral Quiz: This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs, to be honest, yet spontaneous.
THE SITUATION: You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you’re caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You’re trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
THE TEST: Suddenly you see a black man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It’s Barrack Obama! At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS: You can save the life of Barrack Obama or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world’s most powerful socialist Muslim men hell-bent on the destruction of America.
THE QUESTION: Here’s the question, and please give an honest answer……..
“Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white…???“
The next Friday Sillies popped up on my radar with the help of my old bud, Google. While this funny was not delivered straight to my in-box, I have gotten it in the past.
Note, this is a word I have long removed from my personal vocabulary, but still it is with us and perhaps THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD…
Well, it’s shit… That’s right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
And tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can’t tell the difference between shit and shinola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.
There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
And some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes your breath smells like shit
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don’t need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along if you give a shit; or not do so if you don’t give a shit!
Well, Shit, it’s time for me to go.
Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day without a bunch of shit.
But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head………..
Well, Shit Happens!!!
Concluding Friday Sillies let me leave you with this….
Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh:
AND…
And, his niece who travels the country in an RV—–Winnie Bay Gogh
I saw you smiling . . . There ya Gogh!
Wanna make someone else smile? Then leave a comment. Have a good weekend and keep laughing!
