Friday Sillies: Veterans

Whoo-hoo, it’s Friday! If you’re one of the lucky ones, like my DH, then this will be an extended weekend for you. I’m so ready for a 3-day pass to fun, laughs, good food, and over all quality R&R. Grab a cup of coffee. In honor our veterans, I want to make to put a smile on each face for their great sacrifice in keeping America free

Military jokes

 

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war-weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?”

The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, “You Americans! You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?”

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.”

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!”

The soldier didn’t say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

AK1 Howard S Hayes USNR-R(TAR)(Ret)

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope….along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care, Ricky Darnell

MA retiring Lt Colonel in Lake Charles, LA decided he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his Army buddies and neighbors. He also invited his Jeep driver Sergeant Boudreaux, the only Cajun in the Party’s crowd. He held the Party around the pool in the back yard of his home.  Everyone was having a real good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, and BBQ and flirting with the ladies. At the height of the party, the Lt Colonel said, “I have a 12 ft. man-eating gator in my pool and I’ll give a $1000.00 to anyone who has the balls to jump in.”  When the words were barely out of his mouth, there was a loud splash, and everyone turned around and saw Sgt. Boudreaux in the pool! Boudreaux was fighting the gator and kicking its ass!  Sgt. Boudreaux jabbed the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head-butts and choke-holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of

When the words were barely out of his mouth, there was a loud splash, and everyone turned around and saw Sgt. Boudreaux in the pool! Boudreaux was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Sgt. Boudreaux jabbed the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head-butts and choke-holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of judo instructor.The water was churning and slashing everywhere! Both Boudreaux and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally, Boudreaux strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a Wal-Mart goldfish.  Boudreaux then slowly climbed out of the pool.  Everybody stared at him in disbelief.The Lt Colonel then says, “Well Sgt Boudreaux. I reckon I owe you a $1000.00.”

“No that’s okay. I don’t want it,” replied Boudreaux.

The Lt Colonel then said “Man, I have to give you something.  You won the bet.  How about $500.00.”

“No, thanks. I don’t want it,” answered Boudreaux.

The Lt Colonel again said, “Come on, I insist on giving you something.  That was amazing.  How about my Rolex Watch?”

Again Boudreaux said No. Confused, the Lt Colonel asked, “Well, Sergeant Boudreaux, then what do you want?”

And Sgt Boudreaux replied, “I just want the name of that sombitch who pushed me in the pool”!

Joe G Inocencio Msg(Ret)For more laughs, visit VetFriends!

On behalf of this great nation…

 

 

Finishing things up today, here’s my response to Hilary’s Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun statements.

1. Music gives great comfort and makes me happy when things are upside down in my life.
2. I heard resveratrol (found in the skins of red grapes) prevents heart disease, lowers your LDL (bad) cholesterol levels, breast cancer, blood clots, & other things. That’s why I take resveratrol supplements each day.
3. I wish my “dream house” would fall into my lap at a dreamy  price.
4. My favorite color is pink it make me feel soft and feminine.

Keep smiling and a have laughtastic weekend!Save

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