Friday Sillies #55 – Chuck Norris

Last weekend we watched the new release, Expendables 2 on Blu-ray.  Have you seen it?  If not, I highly recommend it!. Welcome to Friday Sillies!  I’m glad you decided to join me for another edition. Without further ado, let’s get the giggles going.

The above scene reminded me of the hilarious and sometimes outrageous funnies floating round about Chuck Norris.  Mr. Norris seems like a very likeable guy, don’t you think? No worries, I was not cohorts into saying this. I truly believe he is, but anyhow, I thought I’d dig up a few of the outlandish laugh out loud jokes that he would get a chuckle out of, too.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

When Chuck was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: “What is courage?” Chuck received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Ghosts sit around the campfire telling Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris and Superman fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

This has nothing to do with Chuck Norris, but I wanted to share it with you before I forget and then the opportunity would be missed bringing a smile to your face. I got this humorous piece from a friend by email.

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.

In a recent linguistic competition held in London, England, and attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes. 

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer; “When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!” 

He won a trip to travel to Hong Kong in style and a case of 25-year-old Eldorado Rum.