By-gone Days

I find myself reflecting on the days when my children were small often, especially since our daughters moved out 2-years ago. Thankfully, my son lives at home, but in a few years he’ll be off to college. It has been a painful process realizing they have to move forward.  At times, I feel like I’m being squeezed out of existence in their lives.  The first problem is our schedules do not mesh – when I rise for the day, they are sleeping and when it’s my bedtime, then they’re at work or hanging with friends.  The window of opportunity to chat or see one another is difficult.  There are days when a shadow passes over me and it’s all I can do to keep from bursting out in tears.  I wonder if they have days like this?

When this gloom overpowers me, I find fond cozy reminiscences fill my thoughts with a sweet fragrance.  One thing, in particular, is our bedtime ritual.  Oh, the kiddos really loved being read to! I tell you, my husband and I have invested a small fortune in children’s literature, too.  We enjoyed this past-time as much as they did.  We have most of the Disney Classics, Berenstain Bears, Pooh Bear, The Complete Tale of Uncle Remus, Make Way for Duckling, Blueberries for Sal, One Morning in Maine, Goodnight Moon, and many more wonderful stories.  Despite my poor attempts, they loved the silly voice changes I created for the characters in the stories I read. It was great fun for them nonetheless.

The tenderness that fills my heart of those simpler days is forever etched in my memory.  I wouldn’t trade a second of those precious times.  I’m blessed to have had lots of them, too.  However, a haunting for those by-gone days leave me unsettled on occasion and I wish I could find a way to reclaim their childhood even for just a moment.  “Oh bother,” as Pooh Bear might say and sigh.  I suppose I’ll have to reserve such time for the future when my lap is filled once more with grandchildren.