Tag Archives: stupid people

Garfield, Alf, Stupid People, Grumpy Cat, New Year’s Resolutions, & Weird Al

Greetings, Kittens & Dawgs!  How’s the first four days of the new year treating you? This is not only DH’s off Friday but it was a short work week. Whoo-hoo! Now, it’s time for nothing but giggles with some Friday Sillies!

   

 

 

Dear Diet Diary

As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Cresley [what a thoughtful darling] bought for me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio [ooh what a name] who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Monday

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Juan Antonio waiting for me.   He is something of a Greek god: he has curly hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Yippee!

Juan Antonio gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Juan Antonio [call me Tony by now] was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my stomach was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FABULOUS week!   My New Year resolutions will be easy.

Tuesday

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out of the door. Tony made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air. Later he put weights on it. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Tony’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It’s a whole new life for me.

Wednesday

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. Tony was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning; and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Tony put me on the stair ‘monster’. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Tony told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other garbage too.

Thursday

Tony was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. That man then took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent a skinny woman to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine – which I sank.

Friday

I hate that man, Toady or whatever his name is, more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. He is a stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little bighead. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Toady wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the flippin’ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on the health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday

That person, that Toady, left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Sunday

I’m having the Church bus collect me up so I can go to services today and thank God that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Cresley [the cruel, whingeing creep] will choose a gift for me that is fun: like root canal treatment or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!

Dear Diet Diary sourc credit, here.

And just because it’s been one of those week’s….

I’m really not cut out for winters!

 

 

 

That’s a wrap for now but I hope to see you on the dance floor for freebie mewsic pick on Mondays Mewsic Moves Me!  X💋X💋, Cathy

 

 

 

 

 Friday Features Linky Party  
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Friday Sillies #27 — Stupid People

Welcome! This is my first attempt to host a blog hop of my own and I hope you’ll want to join the fun!

Who needs rules? Lucky for you these are easy. Simply to do the following…
  • Grab my Friday Sillies Blog Hop badge and display it on your blog or post.
  • Show me some love by following me any and every way possible. I’ll return the favor!
  • Create a wacky post that’s sure to make us giggle – rib cracking videos, hilarious pictures, jokes, funny emails,…If it makes you laugh, then share it! Please, keep humor clean and if you get a bit wild then please post a warning.
  • Finally link up below and let the fun begin!

 

Here are just a few stupid comments from celebrities…

 

“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, “Thyroid problem?” – Arnold Schwarzenegger, California Governor and actor

“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.'” – Jessica Simpson

 “A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.” – Samuel Goldwyn, early Hollywood movie producer.

  “For those of you haven’t read the book, it’s being published tomorrow.” – David Frost, British Talk Show Host

  “Solutions are not the answer.” – Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

 “Lindsay will always keep growing. She’ll do a film and get an Academy Award, and no one will remember her boobs.” – Lindsay Lohan’s mother

This guy has some funny stuff, check out the McDonald’s drive through window scenario…

I wrote a post about stupid people. Read about it here!

Laughter is contagious, why not spread a little this way!

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Asapiophobe

Borrowed from a Facebook friend’s wall

I’m not a logophile. This is a new-to-me term, but I do have the good sense to use Google to learn what I want to know. Words remain a mystery to me. In fact, it comes to no great surprise when I stumble upon a  new one like asapiophobe, as this was the case yesterday.

There it was asapiophobe. What is asapiophobe? Ian Timberlake of Insanity is Just a State of Mind (blog no longer exists) wrote a humorous post on this.  This piqued my curiosity, is asapiophobe really a word?

Timberlake’s claims everyone is looking for this word, yet coming up empty-handed. How can this be? I mean after all you can find just about anything on the net, right? I searched these online resources: Merriam-Webster, The Free Dictionary, Oxford Dictionaries, Cambridge Dictionaries Online, Dictionary.com, and the world-wide web leading expert of all things (or so it seems) Wikipedia. All were a big flop! Asapiophobe yielded “No Results Found” each time, at every site!

Although it seems this word is not actually a word recognizable by these resources, I can say a lot of people suffer from this phobia. Have you noticed – the roll of eyes, smoking ears, steam rising from the head or the I’m so frustrated I can explode look?  These are classic symptoms of asapiophobe. Why there are even websites dedicated to those who have a strong dislike toward the unintelligent…ahem… stupid. Like,  Stupid People Piss Me Off or People Who Hate Stupid People.

You have your average stupid person roaming the streets. We meet them every single day. In the workplace, at school, on the interstate, down aisle three of the grocery store, in the elevator, … the world is crawling with them! The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity is something an asapiophobe learns to live with on daily basis.

An asapiophobe knows the horrible things a stupid person does when multiplied by stupid people. Have you looked at Washington, DC lately? Do you honestly think it’s ever a good idea for the blind to lead the blind? Same goes here, stupid people placing bozos in office is the reason our country is in such a mess! *slap self on forehead*

The problem is stupid people don’t (a) know their stupid or (b) don’t care they are stupid or (c) don’t know or care they are stupid. The harsh reality of it is stupid people have been around since the beginning of mankind and will continue until the end of time. There is no escaping them!  I can’t change the way a person’s mind operates and there is no sense in losing mine in the process. Instead, I’ll just have a few good laughs about their own in abilities.

Try….
Give them a choice.

 

 

Ask them to spell words like antidisestablishmentarianism or supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

 

 

This one may be difficult but looking dumber than you actually sound.
Poor Bush!

Hurling sarcasm toward the intended idiot calls immediate attention to said idiot’s peers of just how stupid he/she really is. Try some of these…

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?
 
If you were twice as smart as you are now, you’d be absolutely stupid.   
I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could get to be so stupid in just one lifetime. 
You’re so stupid you got locked in a grocery store and starved to death! 
That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

 

Check out more insults for stupid people:

Stupid Insults
One Liner Jokes
 

Let’s face it, no one really likes stupid people. I know, I don’t.  It makes no difference to me if asapiophobe is a word or not the term certainly applies to many of us, including myself.

 

Check out more Alphabe-Thursday ‘A’ assignments with Miss Jenny at the head of the class and I dare say, none of her students lack intelligence. In fact, they may fall into the asapiophobe category, too.

We all do stupid things from time-to-time. That’s normal and forgivable. My Thursday Two Questions are:

1. What is the stupidest thing you ever did?

Undoubtedly this is something I’ve blocked from my brain, as I can’t think of a “stupidest” thing. However, when it comes to mind, I’ll be the first to shed some light of my idiot moment.

2. What’s the one stupid thing someone else does, which drives you up the wall?

People do dumb things all the time but the one stupid thing that drives me bonkers is to see how society generally follow like little herds of sheep. They don’t know how to stand on their own or to think for themselves. You see this all the time – work, school, social situations, and playground. I’m not saying we can all be leaders, all the time. I’m just saying, we don’t have to be gullible.

We all need a cause to rally behind, granted it. Something we really believe in, as our founding fathers who fought in the Revolution against the British. The real trouble begins early on when we give up our right to think for ourselves and allow big government to worm itself into the complexities of our lives making it seem like we need them to micro-manage our entire life.

That’s why we hear so much, we need Government to do this, that, or the other. My philosophy has always been less government is better. Trust me, when a politician says he cares about grandma or our kids or health care, all this really means is I’m going to take your piggy bank, wallet, and future away from you in a blink of an eye. Politicians aren’t really stupid. They just need stupid people to believe their lies. Politicians simply don’t care.

BONUS question:  Are you asapiophobe?

*This has been a blog hop presentation sponsored in part by Alphabe-Thursday and Thursday Two Questions.*

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