The first woman I loved

I know you’re thinking, “The first woman I loved”? Sounds interesting, huh? This is not a racy post, allow me to explain. While I love women… because let’s face it, that’s what I am and God made us rather special so naturally, the first woman I loved is my dear mother.

Circa 1973

On Wednesday Medley hosted by Terri at Your Friend in Florida posed some great questions for Mother’s Day and instead of joining in the fun at that time I decided to reserve this set to share today.  

1. Where did your mom grow up? My mother was born and raised in southern West Virginia up a little hollow called Groundhog, near Jolo (both ‘o’s are long).  My first five years of life, I lived up that same hollow.  Everyone knew where it was but in recent years I think that hollow was renamed.  

2. Tell us about her siblings, if she has/had any. Did you have a favorite aunt or uncle?  My mother is the oldest of 7.  My grandparents had a kid every year.  My mom’s brothers and sisters are in birth order or as close as I can remember are Minda, Freddie, Neal, Roger, Mary Lou, and Randy.   It’s hard to say which is my favorite because they felt more like older siblings than uncles and aunts.  I was really close to them, especially the youngest two. 

3. What is ONE of your favorite memories you can share with us of your mom? My mother is only 16 years older than me. Yep, she was a super young mom. She got to grow up right along with me.  That’s not an all bad thing because she had plenty of energy to deal with her kiddies.  It was my mother who taught me how to do a cartwheel.  When I was in elementary school on summer break, she’d be outside in the early evenings playing dodgeball in our yard with me and my friends.  It was one of those warm nights just before the fireflies came out that she did a cartwheel across the yard. I was awed by this cool thing that she did and had to learn which I did with her help and a few tries.

4. Please share a picture or two of your mom with us.

This is the earliest picture of my mom.  Seeing that she has her two front teeth, I figured she was in early elementary school. 🙂

Here is a Mother’s Day photo-creation from a few years ago of my mother and me.

In this recent picture, I borrowed it from my niece’s FB wall, is my mom and great-nephew. They share the same birthday separated by a few years. lol

5. Let’s not leave out the grandmothers. Share what you will.  Thinking about my grandmother, I realize now that she wasn’t as old as I thought she was when I was little. Strange how time puts things into perspective.  I think she was 18 when she got married. Assuming she had my mother by 19th bday then when I was born, she was around 33.  That’s way younger than me and I just became a Mimi for the first time last October. WOW, makes me wonder how my little Angelina will see me when she’s a tot.  I always perceived grandma as grouchy and not-so-warm but what I didn’t understand was, she was a mom of pre-teens and teenagers when I was a tot.  I was a pretty grumpy mom when our kids were teens so I totally relate to what she was dealing with at the time.  It wasn’t until after I was grown that I really saw the best side of my grandma’s sweet, loving nature.  She had a heart of gold but I do have some fond memories from my early years. She taught me about Jesus’ love, to place my trust in Him for all things,  and that I’m never alone even when I think that I am. Her heart/life foundation strongly built on Christ.  

This is the earliest photo of my maternal grandma.  It was made in my grandparents’ early years of marriage or during their courtship. I do not know.  

I need to check with extended family while I can to collect more photos but have fallen short in doing this job.  I need to make this a priority before the door closes.  Here’s one of the last happy pictures I have of my grandparents. They look so sweet together. You can tell they are more than husband and wife but forever best friends.

I wasn’t especially close to my paternal grandma we called Nanny.  She passed away in 1980 not too long after our first wedding anniversary. Leaning on limited memories of days gone by I see some things in my daddy that make me think of her.  For instance, the way he smiles or laughs transports me back in time with only a tiny glimpse of her doing the same.  Although her life was a hard one, you’d never know it by her happy nature. 

This picture has to be from the late 20s or early 30s. Nanny is the heavier gal to the far right.

The only kinfolks I recognize in this photo from the 50s is Lige far left with Nanny on his left and my daddy her left. The young boy kneeling with the dark moppy bangs I believe is Daddy’s brother, Dee.

This is probably one of the last photos of Nanny.  I remembered she was ill but I don’t think I understood the serious nature of her health.  She had cancer.  Do  you see the picture on the mantle? That’s me! 😉

6. Do you have any special plans for Mother’s Day? Nope, I have nothing planned.  I’m sure DH will treat me to a special day.  He always does!  I can’t say what my kids will do but they don’t put quite the emphasis on special occasions as I’d like. This is something that will change as they get older. I know it took me a while to fully grasp the importance of showing my parents appreciation.  You just don’t realize all there is that a mom does for you until you are one. I know I was grateful and always said things like, I will do this and that differently or if that is my kid I’d do…but in reality, things change the moment you step into motherhood.  The learning curve might be easy or it can take years to master if ever but whatever you do, your child finds fault with the way you handle his/her upbringing. All you can do is your best and when that child has children of his/her own, they’ll see the struggles, the sacrifices, and the love of a dear ol’ mom. That’s when the light in the attic goes on! 

Dolly Parton’s song ‘Coat of Many Colors’ illustrates the love her mother showed her.  While I didn’t grow up like Dolly there were hard times but I think of how difficult the days were for my mom and hers. So, I dedicate this song to my beautiful mother and to her’s who’s in heaven.

 

One more thing, Mother’s Day isn’t complete without giving a special nod to another woman who I am not related to but loved me like I was her daughter, my beautiful and kind late mother-in-law, Dorothy.  

This picture was taken before I entered the family but this is very much the way I remember her best. She loved cooking, sewing, gardening, and being a homemaker. I always said, work was a hobby and being busy is what made her the happiest.

Honoring my mother trump regular blog posting, but not to worry my 4M mewsic goes live at 12 a.m., tomorrow morning.  One more thing, please 🙏pray🙏 for Marie’s daughter.  She’s having four brain tumors removed in the morning.  That’s all I know. Marie flew to Missouri for a few days.  Ask for God to guide the surgeon’s hands with precision and grace, as excellent medical care from nurses, technicians, and doctors. Thanks a bunch!   For those looking to link up early, it’s right below.  Don’t forget Michele’s theme for this week is ‘Body Parts Song Titles‘.  Join us on the dance floor!

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23 comments

  1. What a wonderful post, Cathy!
    And so precious to have these photo memories too. I wish I had photos of my family like this. I feel separated…alone. I guess that’s how it is growing up without parents.
    Thanks for sharing this loveliness.

    1. Colette,

      I’m sorry you don’t have photos of your family. That has to be difficult. You can begin making your own photo memories whenever you speed time with your mom now. It’s never too late. xx

  3. What a beautiful tribute to your mom and the rest of your family, Cathy! It must have been fun to have such a young mother. More like an older sister, as others mentioned. I love that first photo; you two look so much alike. 🙂 And the one of your grandparents, which shows their enduring love for one another, is a real gem, as well. This is such a heart-warming post!

    1. Debbie,

      Oh yeah, especially in the early years. She was less bogged down with work outside the home and could do things like that with us. Of course, after she started working after Daddy became disabled due to black lungs disease, I understood why she had to get a job but it was still hard to not have her around when I wanted. I don’t have any recent photos of mom and me except for one from four years ago. I should have shared that but didn’t think of it until now. The next time we go home I need to get DH to snap a few pictures of us together. Life is too short to not capture moments like that.

  5. Your mom was like your older sister. I think my youngest daughter was 18 when she had her first child.

    Very nice tribute and pictures.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    1. Lee,

      Yes, my mom was like an older sister and often when we were out, everyone would say, “Is this your younger sister”. Although I wasn’t grown up when people said this but still nearly as tall as mom and pre-teen, so it’s interesting how little difference the years made. I notice the same thing now. I’ll be 58 in December and my sister will be 49 this June but you’d never know who’s the youngest. Your youngest no doubt probably will get the same thing from others not knowing she is the mom. 18 is a young start to be a mom. Thanks for joining me on Mother’s Day, my friend!

    1. John,

      I appreciate you keeping Marie & her daughter in prayers. I know this will mean a lot to her. Thank you for the HMD wishes and for visiting, my friend!

  8. We loved to read about your mom and family and the pictures that go along with it, and on top Dolly Parton’s beautiful song. We enjoyed spending some time with you on this special day, Oh, and just want to say, you and your mom look very much alike. Pawkisses for a wonderful Mother’s Day🐾😽💞

    1. Binky,

      Thank you for sharing Mother’s Day with me! When I was younger, mom and I looked a lot alike. As I got older I morphed into a combination of my parents which I really like because it’s nice looking into the mirror to see something about me that makes me think of them. I’m a fan of Dolly Parton mostly because of her. She’s so down to earth. I’d love to meet her someday. Have a pAwesome week, my little furriend!

  9. Beautiful stories, beautiful photos, beautiful song! We come from such different backgrounds, Cathy. My mother and I were both born and raised in New York City- my Mom in a tenement apartment on the lower East Side of New York City, me in a housing project in the Bronx. Both my Mom and I were in our late 30’s when we had our only children. But my Mom came from a large family (she was the third youngest). She wanted a large family but that’s not the cards her life dealt her. She also died suddenly when I was a month short of my 13th birthday. So from there I was raised by my father. I was so fortunate to have loving parents and the picture of your grandparents cuddled together was so touching and genuine. I know my parents loved each other very much, too. Thank you for sharing these family photos!

    1. Alana,

      What we want and we get is often not the same. We may not always understand but I believe God has our best interest. Large families are wonderful. When we got married, we had NO DESIRE to have children. That was our self-centeredness side talking. I know I knew then I wasn’t ready to have babies and we got hit for years with ‘When are you two going to have children?”. After a while, the questions stopped so when we came up prego you can imagine everyone’s shock. We were married 9-years when DD#1 entered our world. After that I began thinking wouldn’t it be nice to have six children but motherhood revealed the many stresses and worries in short order. In between our second and third, I miscarried, so by the time DS entered the picture I felt our family was complete but couldn’t totally squash the feeling of one more baby. We didn’t have any more of course and just before my 40th birthday after continuous female problems I told the doctor whatever you need to do to keep this from happening again do what’s needed. I assured him we weren’t planning on making our family any larger.

      I remember you telling me or I read on your blog about your mother’s passing when you were young and raised by your dad. That had to be really hard on the young girl that you were and even still lingers within you. At least you have fond memories from those early years of loving parents. Your dad did a great job raising you which you know had to be hard but you probably gave him the strength to do it anyhow. Of course, I know you understand this fully being a mom.

      I love this photo of my grandparents! They are so sweet together and it broke my heart when my grandpa passed. My poor little grandma kept saying, ‘He was my baby!’ That was a side I never saw but I totally get because I feel the same way about DH. He’s my soulmate and while I know I would survive without him, my heart would be crushed. It’s like losing a part of yourself after years and years of marriage, you know? Thanks for joining me on Mother’s Day, my dear!

    1. Brian,

      Thank you for stopping by on Mother’s Day. I’m delighted you enjoyed the tribute to the moms & grandmoms in my life. I hope your mom had a special day!

  11. Hi, Cathy!

    This is a wonderful post for Mother’s Day, dear friend! I didn’t know that your mother and her mother were so young when they started raising a family. My situation was quite different. My mother was almost 33 when I was born. That’s around the same age your grandmother was when you were born! My dad was five years older than my mother, and so my parents were almost a generation older than all my friends’ parents. The resemblance between you and your lovely mother is striking in that picture. I can’t imagine what life was like for your mother and grandmother in that rural area of West Virginia, even though I was born “in the country” in a rural part of York County. I am sure it’s true what you say, that children have no idea all that goes into being a parent until they find themselves in that position. Assuming all that work and responsibility changes them, changes their priorities. You shared a wealth of family photos here, Cathy, and I enjoyed looking at them all, including the one of DH’s mama Dorothy. To me she looks like actress Jessica Lange in the role of country mewsic legend Patsy Cline in the movie Sweet Dreams. See what you think:

    https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fcontent7.flixster.com%2Fphoto%2F12%2F83%2F57%2F12835753_gal.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffilmoscarsandmore.blogspot.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fbest-actress-1985-jessica-lange-in.html&docid=Fc4hvPDKUYuUMM&tbnid=MtEmOqrQrPATyM%3A&vet=1&w=249&h=375&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim

    I enjoyed Dolly’s performance of “Coat” and loved the TV biopic of the same name released in 2015. I hope DH treats you extra special today, dear friend Cathy. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day and a super week ahead. I’ll see you tamale on the 4M dance floor!

    1. Tom,

      I realized that my folks, especially my mom was young growing up since all of my friends’ parents were older at 10-20 years. Marrying and having children early wasn’t an uncommon practice in southern WV. I married young but we didn’t start a family for several years. I was 26 when I had our first child. It’s funny to think about it now but I thought I was pushing the age having one in my mid-20s. By the time our last kiddo was born I was 32. It’s not uncommon anymore for women in their 40s having their first child. Considering that I was still a kitten when I had my first one. 🙂 Anyhow…thank you for sharing Jessica Lange’s image. Dorothy does resemble her, doesn’t she? I think it’s mostly the hairdo but if Dorothy had makeup on and earrings then she certainly would’ve looked even more like the actress. 🙂 Oh, DH treated me very special! He took me out on Friday since we were expecting a rainy Sunday. His recent dental surgery limits what he can eat, but he wanted to get me hamburger like he normally does, however, I told him that’s okay if we skip it this time and can certainly do that another time. Instead, we got Freddy’s soft serve ice cream. We had tried them about a week prior and were impressed. At that time, Robin got vanilla and of course, I had to have the chocolate. For my M-Day treat, I got a sundae – signature turtle. It was really, really good! We had a lovely day knocking around town and browsing in shops. He even got me a pretty pink rose plant. I love miniature roses! I can’t wait to set it into a larger pot. In the past, I’ve placed them in the ground but this hard soil isn’t the best and often die out after several years. Perhaps, I’ll have better luck with it in a planter. We’ll see. Thanks for the visit and warm mother’s day wishes, my friend!

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