Hello, Kittens & Dawgs! It’s time for some laughs. Are you ready for a bit of Husband and Wife Humor?
I spotted the next piece on Facebook. A letter to the wife and her final say-so. 🙂
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
Let’s continue the fun with Friendly Fill-Ins with Annie and Ellen. Every Thursday four fun and easy blank statements are posted for us to borrow, complete, and share on our site. The point is to simply have fun linking, reading, and meeting others who enjoy this sort of thing.
Here’s my response to this week’s fill-ins:
(1) I have seen cars and people on Broadway. You are talking about the street in my part of town, right? lol
(2) My Chinese zodiac sign is the Rat. Really? I hate rodents and the Chinese gave me this sign. Can I throw that one back and draw another, please?
(3) Celebrities seem to think I give a hoot what they believe and that they think their opinion matters to me. However, this is what I’d like to scream at them every time I hear them promote their propaganda: “GET OVER YOURSELF! STICK TO WHAT I PAY YOU TO DO – ENTERTAIN ME NOT TICK ME OFF!”
(4) A beautiful sunny day is one that’s meant to be enjoyed outdoors doing something fun, like taking pictures in the mountains.
I adjusted my Friday posts. I now roll Skywatch Friday and Celebrate the Small Things together in a separate post each Thursday. Let’s begin celebrating with Friendship Friday and Friday Features linky parties where you’re sure to make new friends and get lots of inspiration!
That’s a wrap for now, but if you like mewsic then I invite you to come back for Saturday Songsuasion. Until next time, have a fototastic weekend!
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I agree with you about rats. They are creepy and scary. I saw a movie once where a young man was told to not uncover his feet while he slept. He didn’t listen and the rats chewed off the bottom of his feet while he slept. I hope he learned to listen! I can’t imagine being able to sleep while something chewed off my feet, but then again, I slept through Hurricane Ike!
Loved your funnies. 🙂
I agree 100% with your #4 answer!
Have a blessed week. 🙂
Suzanne, in the 70s horror movie sometimes used rats and it always creeped me out to watch those flicks. I remember watching how Hollywood got the rats appear to gnaw on the victim. They smeared peanut butter on the actor (or perhaps stunt double) body and the rats at the PB. All I kept thinking was that’s too creepy for me, no thank you, you can’t pay me enough to do that sorta thing! That movie you saw definitely sounds horrible. Thanks for popping by for a visit and I’m glad you enjoyed the funnies. 🙂 Have a good week. I’ll be by soon!
Ewww! I couldn’t do that either! What if they decided they wanted to eat the person’s feet, too, not just the peanut butter? The movie we saw was about an LDS missionary and was an interesting movie. But, I can’t remember the name of it. They called the boy Kolipoki, or something like that. Have a great week.?
Suzanne, You can’t trust a rat, except when it’s me! 🙂
Cathy, at least you aren’t the creepy kind. 🙂
Suzanne, you haven’t seen me in the mornings before I’ve had my coffee. ?
Going by that criteria, Cathy, I reckon ‘snake’ fits me pretty well, too. haha I don’t drink coffee, though. I have to have Diet Coke. 🙂
Amen,, if we pay someone to entertain, they should do only that. Just because they are popular does not mean they are smart.
David, if celebrities only entertained! *sigh* Oh well, their opinion doesn’t matter to me and it just makes me not want to watch or listen to them. 🙁 Thanks for stopping in for a visit. Have a good week and I’ll see ya soon!
My Chinese zodiac is the Pig. what? Ha. I suppose they must assign good qualities, but honestly – thanks so much. Ha. I have seen plays on Broadway and I do love it!! It’s quite the experience — but I do love live theatre and I miss it so much living in my small town. There is nothing like that here. I think celebrities, like anyone else, need to remember that there is a time and place for everything. Like, if someone asks your opinion in an interview – you have the freedom to respond accordingly. or not. But if you’re accepting an award – say your sincere thanks to everyone and exit stage left. It’s not the place – especially when it highlights your position of privilege.
Les, you’re precisely right about a celebrity needing to choose wisely the platforms he/she wishes to liberate his/her opinions. You’re a pig married to a…okay, I won’t say it. lol Hey, I have nothing but respect for your hubby and the job he does. Naturally, I’m being silly. Just keep in mind, when or if threatened by a radical Islamic terrorist you can use your Chinese zodiac as a trump card. 🙂 I hope you’re feeling better. Have a good weekend and thanks for stopping by!
Today was a sunny beautiiful bright day, I d taken the dogs out for a walk….and was so cold after a block we came home.
Katie, It was cool here yesterday and while it’s beautiful today the wind is a bit crazy. I think it’s the cold front making its way into our area tomorrow. The forecast looks ok next week but I’m ready for spring to get here. Thank you for visiting. Have a good weekend. I’ll hop over to see you soon!
These are so funny…I love the first one especially and it is so funny. I am born the year of the dragon which does sound nicer..I have to admit
Birgit, Just about anything sounds better than The Rat. A rat is sneaky and destructive. This is totally not me. The Chinese got it wrong. It’s a good thing I don’t put a lot of stock into birth signs or I’d be bummed. LOL
Oh, my goodness…you are naughty with those funnies! I am not surprised that we agree about celebrities. They have no idea what we live with. They are secure in the bubble that we paid for. So, they need to do what we paid them to do, and shut up about politics. Everyone has an opinion, but theirs is not relevant to my life. Thanks for joining us! HUGS!
Annie, Having a different political view is ok but it’s the way the Hollywood elite choose to express themselves. Unfortunately, they do a lot of whining, make ideal threats, and expect the common person to relate. They are so out of touch with reality that it blows the mind. So, Hollywood listen… Keep your opinion to yourself. WE. PAY. YOU. TO . ENTERTAIN! GOT IT?
The husband and wife jokes are a hoot.Thank you for participating in the fill-ins, great answers. I love your #3, celebrities should stick to acting and keep politics to themselves 🙂 I also love your take on #1 🙂 Have a nice weekend.
Ellen, I knew question #1 was aimed at Broadway shows but I felt goofy! 🙂 Thanks for visiting and have a good weekend!
Those two letters were awesome. Thanks for sharing those. My Chinese animal is the dog which is not as bad as the rat or snake, but not as cool as the dragon or tiger. Oh well.
Tamara, The Dog…that’s a good one. I bet this means you’re loyal, right? 🙂 Thanks for visiting. Have a good weekend and I’ll be by later this evening!
First point, you’re right: “A beautiful sunny day is one that’s meant to be enjoyed outdoors doing something fun, like taking pictures in the mountains.” Now, I must find some mountains… lol… or to replace it with a walk in the nearby park…
I’ll keep that in mind!….
Second point: I like all the cartoons above, the irony and the amusement, the funny replies and the ideas shared in your comments, too.
*-* Such a lovely way to put smile on a face!!! Have a very purrrfect day and weekend, as well!
Alexa, just getting out to photograph nature is nice to do on a sunny day, so your nearby park sounds like a great idea. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed today’s humor. I’m blessed to have a good husband. We have a great relationship but I enjoy the stereotypes that always is good for a giggle or two. I think it’s just good to laugh at the sex differences even when the laughs are aimed at women. 🙂 Thank you for visiting!
Hi, Cathy!
I didn’t think you were offering any Friday Sillies today. Your post wasn’t up when I logged on shortly after 5 am. That letter exchange between husband and wife is very funny. Seems he picked the wrong day to give in to the “7 year itch” and it cost him his share of $10 million. 🙂
You wrote:
“My Chinese zodiac sign is the Rat. Really? I hate rodents…”
I hope you don’t mind being an honorary Dell rat and a member of my Rodentia Intelligentsia. 🙂
Thank you for the laughs and smiles this morning, dear friend Cathy, and have a splendid weekend with DH!
Tom,
I had my post set for midnight but for some crazy reason it didn’t fire off like it usually does. This happens on occasion, though. That’s why I set up a separate email that I subscribe to my own posts to make sure they publish properly each time. I guess I should’ve allowed for some rat (rodent) exceptions. I love being an honorary Dell rat and I like squirrels. I just hate those home invaders – mice! Luckily, we don’t have to worry about rats but mice get in our home every winter. We caught three recently. Hopefully, that’ll be all we get but I’m leaving the traps out until spring. Thanks for popping in, my friend. I hope y’all have a good weekend. It’s gonna be chilly here. We might even see a flurry or two. 🙂