“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked the cowboy.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered, “On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the **** out of all of you!”
St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”
“A couple of minutes ago.”
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife.
“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans” he replies.
“Put them back, we can’t afford them” demands the wife. They carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.
“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: “So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it’s half the price.”
That’s him in Aisle 5
Kenny Wilson, on his deathbed, knowing the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and his 2 sons.
So, he says to them:
“Bubba, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses.”
“Peggy Sue, you take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza.”
“Henry, I want you to take the offices over in City Center.”
“Sally, my dearest wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown.”
The nurse is completely blown away by all this, and as Kenny slips away, she says, “Mrs. Wilson, your husband must have been a very hardworking man to have all of this property”.
Sally replies, “What property? The jerk had a paper route!”
Thank you for making me apart of your day. I hope you enjoyed the giggles. I’m taking a little hiatus this month, but am leisurely returning visits. With that in mind, please leave your comments footprints so that I know you stopped by.
Keep smiling and a have laughtastic weekend!
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