Tag Archives: new year’s resolutions

Garfield, Alf, Stupid People, Grumpy Cat, New Year’s Resolutions, & Weird Al

Greetings, Kittens & Dawgs!  How’s the first four days of the new year treating you? This is not only DH’s off Friday but it was a short work week. Whoo-hoo! Now, it’s time for nothing but giggles with some Friday Sillies!

   

 

 

Dear Diet Diary

As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Cresley [what a thoughtful darling] bought for me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio [ooh what a name] who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Monday

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Juan Antonio waiting for me.   He is something of a Greek god: he has curly hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Yippee!

Juan Antonio gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Juan Antonio [call me Tony by now] was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my stomach was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FABULOUS week!   My New Year resolutions will be easy.

Tuesday

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out of the door. Tony made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air. Later he put weights on it. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Tony’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It’s a whole new life for me.

Wednesday

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. Tony was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning; and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Tony put me on the stair ‘monster’. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Tony told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other garbage too.

Thursday

Tony was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. That man then took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent a skinny woman to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine – which I sank.

Friday

I hate that man, Toady or whatever his name is, more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. He is a stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little bighead. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Toady wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the flippin’ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on the health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday

That person, that Toady, left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Sunday

I’m having the Church bus collect me up so I can go to services today and thank God that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Cresley [the cruel, whingeing creep] will choose a gift for me that is fun: like root canal treatment or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!

Dear Diet Diary sourc credit, here.

And just because it’s been one of those week’s….

I’m really not cut out for winters!

 

 

 

That’s a wrap for now but I hope to see you on the dance floor for freebie mewsic pick on Mondays Mewsic Moves Me!  X💋X💋, Cathy

 

 

 

 

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New Year’s Resolution Giggles

Purrs and hooowdys, Kittens & Dawgs!  This is the last Friday Sillies contribution for the year and to kick of the new year off early I’m sharing with you my thoughts on New Year’s resolutions. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, I Celebrate The Small Things

I’m celebrating the time spent with DH over the long Christmas weekend and am looking forward to this weekend because it’s a holiday weekend, too. It won’t be as long but it’s still one more day I can spend with him. The good thing is next week will be a only a three day work week for him because Monday is a holiday and then Friday is his scheduled day off. Whoo-hoo!

I’m celebrating having gotten to visit Forest City, North Carolina last Friday. It’s a small community south east of Asheville about an hour. We read about it a few years ago as it was listed in one a travel magazine for having an amazing light display and it did not fail to disappoint, either. Check back next week for my not-so Wordless Wednesday post for a sample!

I’m celebrating the fun of sketching with my Apple Pencil & iPad. It’s a soothing hobby to create without having my table cluttered with drawing parenphenalia all the time. Not that I’m giving charocoal and paper up because I’m not. I like the feel of working with these mediums. Do you want to hear something funny? When I do smudging or blending with my electronic devices I catch myself blowing my finger off. lol

I’m celebrating listening to Christmas mewsic for the last week time this year. I so love, love everything about the holidays, especially the mewsic and it’s always so hard to give it up but I know it’s important to keep things in their proper place so to not wear out a good thing.

What are you celebrating?

I couldn’t resist this last bit of Christmas humor. *snicker-snicker*

Switching gears, I’m rounding things out with these Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by the lovely, Annie and Ellen!

  1. On New Year’s Eve, I sit in the livingroom with DH to have enjoy a movie marathon evening with pizza and lots of snacks.
  2. One goal I have for 2018 is to make an effort to sketch daily either in my drawing journal or using my Apple Pencil & iPad.
  3. In 2017, I accomplished the April A-Z Challenge but that’s not as the fantasic part, it’s was my that I posted about, Art Sketching Through the Alphabet. I felt inadquate in my artistic ability, so getting over the hurdle to put pencil to paper was a challenge and then to share with the world was another. I told myself life is too short and I didn’t want to regret one day for not trying.
  4. I discovered during the April challenge I possess some art talent in 2017. I’m not a Leonardo deVinci… yet but I am having fun with it and I will never have to worry with the regret of not trying. 😉

 

 

 

That’s a wrap for now but I hope to see you on the dance floor with New Years Themed Songs on Mondays Mewsic Moves Me!  X💋X💋,

 

 

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Sunday Sillies: New Year’s Resolutions #humor

Good-morning, kittens & dawg! How did the first full week of the new year go for ya? We had some ups & downs. All I can say is life is never a dull moment around here. I think a stiff round of laughs are in order to forget the troubles now behind us and the new ones that’s possibly waiting for us. lol

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This year I will….wrestle naked every Sunday. Okay, that’s a little embarrassing. I promise to wrestle naked in private. lol What’s your new year’s resolution?

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Received via email from Paul C. Thanks!

Life is too short, don’t stress over resolutions. Take life one day at a time with fun, easy steps toward a new, improved you! My philosophy is, slow progress is better than no progress. Keep it simple and real!

Have laughtastic week!