Hello, Kittens & Dawgs! It’s time for some laughs. Are you ready for a bit of Husband and Wife Humor?
I spotted the next piece on Facebook. A letter to the wife and her final say-so. 🙂
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
Let’s continue the fun with Friendly Fill-Ins with Annie and Ellen. Every Thursday four fun and easy blank statements are posted for us to borrow, complete, and share on our site. The point is to simply have fun linking, reading, and meeting others who enjoy this sort of thing.
Here’s my response to this week’s fill-ins:
(1) I have seen cars and people on Broadway. You are talking about the street in my part of town, right? lol
(2) My Chinese zodiac sign is the Rat. Really? I hate rodents and the Chinese gave me this sign. Can I throw that one back and draw another, please?
(3) Celebrities seem to think I give a hoot what they believe and that they think their opinion matters to me. However, this is what I’d like to scream at them every time I hear them promote their propaganda: “GET OVER YOURSELF! STICK TO WHAT I PAY YOU TO DO – ENTERTAIN ME NOT TICK ME OFF!”
(4) A beautiful sunny day is one that’s meant to be enjoyed outdoors doing something fun, like taking pictures in the mountains.
I adjusted my Friday posts. I now roll Skywatch Friday and Celebrate the Small Things together in a separate post each Thursday. Let’s begin celebrating with Friendship Friday and Friday Features linky parties where you’re sure to make new friends and get lots of inspiration!
That’s a wrap for now, but if you like mewsic then I invite you to come back for Saturday Songsuasion. Until next time, have a fototastic weekend!