Challenge,  Get To Know Me (g2km)

Fears – Day 4 G2KM Blog Challenge

What is my greatest fear(s)? This is easy for me to answer,  my greatest fears are traveling by plane or boat.  But, with that being said, I can simply avoid these forms of transportation and my fears are quickly dashed away.  No more worries! Ah, I feel better.

However, one fear that continues to haunt me is suffocation. Death is inescapable, but NOT being able to breathe? No, no, no!   The Grimm Reaper will come calling at my door one day and honestly, dying doesn’t scare me. I know where I’ll spend eternity.  I’m human, though, and thinking about not being able to breathe is horrifying.

How did this fear come to gnaw at me?  Several years back, I had an allergic reaction to some chemicals.  My breathing became extremely labored.  I became panicked, which in turn caused my breathing to be more restricted.  To elevate the problem, I took some OTC Benadryl and collected myself quietly on the sofa while the medicine worked its magic.

Laying on the sofa, my mind began to think about our neighbor who was dying from lung cancer. I thought about her sufferings and fears. I felt ashamed of my silliness. I couldn’t fathom her agony. One thing for certain and that was suffocation would not be my first choice of how I want to exit this life.

Do my fears rule me? No, I’m not obsessed with it.  This fear isn’t a normal part of my day.  It just encroaches my thoughts periodically through my dreams.  When I have times like this and am awaken, I peacefully talk with God.  He understands…He listens…He soothes.  Before long,  my worries fade and I’m okay.

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord…” Psalm 55:22

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I born and raised in the Appalachian mountains of southern WV. I was a child bride when I married my high school sweetheart in 1979. We moved to Knoxville, TN to begin our life. Determined to prove nay-Sayers from our community wrong, I completed my education and went on to earn an A.S. in computer programming. From 1983-1987, I worked as a computer system’s manager. That’s a glorified title for someone who trouble shoots and maintains system back-ups. After the birth of our first child in 1988, I took early retirement. What have I been doing for the last 25+ years? I am proud to say, I am a SAHM and for most of those years I home-schooled our three children from K-12. Now, the nest is empty.

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